judgment proof

IRONIC...dontcha' think?

2006-03-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry JP has been absent. We thought this might give Allanis MOrrisette some fodder for her next song.

Polly want a Cracker?

2006-01-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

Cheating b!tch, busted by boyfriend's parrot! This is hillarious.

Ohio Law Partner Pledges to "Drink his face off" in honor of Michael V. Kelley

2006-01-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

This story from the PD chronicles an Irish Wake that was held for Cleveland plaintiffs attorney Michael V. Kelley who died on his private jet on the way to the ND, Ohio State game earlier this month. The article has a pretty hillarious focus on the amount of booze that was downed at the hip Cleveland Heights joint Nighttown.

You've got to read the whole thing, especially where his partner promises to drink his face off in Michael's honor.

Alito has "examplary" civil rights record

2006-01-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

Ohio African American attorney testifies before Senate that Judge Alito's record on civil rights is "exemplary."

Picasso, Renoir….Traficant?

2006-01-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

Well, Beam Me Up Bob Ross!

Former Ohio Congressmen James Traficant is now peddling his prison art online. JP loves this guy!

Ohio Ethics Ruling

2006-01-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

The Ohio Ethics Commission has ruled that city councilpersons that work for universities cannot vote on issues that affect their employers. This has posed interesting questions for towns like Athens, Oxford and Ada.

OHIO Smoking Ban Battle

2006-01-04T08:47:00.000-08:00

Small biz group files for writ to stop certification of petitions in Columbus, O. court.

Ohio's Wealthiest Lawyer Dies En Route to Fiesta Bowl

2006-01-03T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well known Cleveland plaintiffs attorney and philanthropist Michael Kelley died aboard his personal jet on the way to the Fiesta Bowl yesterday. His firm has made millions handling asbestos and other plaintiff cases in the past decade and he has been a key player in Ohio politics the last few years and has handled several important appellate cases on behalf of his clients and the OATL. JP respected Mr. Kelley very much and wonders if he was an ND or OSU fan...?....

Ohio Supreme Court Justice Reprimanded for Drunk Driving; Smoking Ban Opponents Doth Protest Much

2005-12-28T13:39:00.000-08:00

Resnick publicly reprimanded.

The Blade covers this as does the Washington Post. You can read the entire ethics opinion here. All Ohio Justices had to recuse themselves b/c of their colleague's involvment and 13 Court of Appeals judges filled in to write a long opinion that concludes, "It is unfortunate that a long and distinguished career at the bar and on the bench must suffer the blemish of a public reprimand." Why is that so unfortunate? How many other times to judges write about the misfortunes of civil and criminal defendant who brought about their own problems? JP hasn't seen such a decision yet. This is the legal equivalent to a slap on the wrist.

Anti Smoking Ban Group Leader opposes American Cancer Society in Petition Protests across The Heart of It All

Protests may set up intereting battles that transcend usual political lines.

East Cleveland Mayor-elect Stages Holiday Coup

2005-12-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

Bizzare.

No More Civil Trials in One of Ohio's Largest Counties

2005-12-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

It this even possible?

Brady Quinn is a (self-proclaimed) Pimp

2005-12-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

Because JP thinks Brady Quinn is a hotter college QB than Matt Lion Hart of USC or whatever his name is, we were doing some googling around today and found his resume. We take special note of his technical skills section.

JP salutes Morgan Freeman

2005-12-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

JP has always loved the acting of Morgan Freeman. He is one smooth dude. We never knew much about his politics. But now we love him for that too. Here, he tells us that labeling people as "black" and "white" is ridiculous and "black history month" is stupid b/c black history is really just a part of American history. We could not agree with him more.

Race is nothing more than a social construct. Once you realize this, you are halfway there.

Sure, people are categorized based on there race and this has practical realities for everyone, but what he is saying is we need to stop doing this. He's not saying that we should stop recognizing that racism exists, but recognize that we often do more harm than good in trying to remedy racism.

It is so clear to JP we cannot put it in words, but we do salute Mr. Freeman.

But I do wish he never appeared in Pulp Fiction as I hate that movie. Wait a minute......Was that Samuel L. Jackson? Or Denzel? Ah..........never mind...........I'll just wait until February's "Black History" month to find out!

Defamation by Fremont, O. Newspaper

2005-12-15T12:52:00.000-08:00

Local defamed (former) attorney gets even.

Ohio, The Heart of It All

2005-12-15T11:20:00.000-08:00

With the Buckeye State's economy lagging behind our sister States', with our Governor in the tank and no clear direction for the next 10 years, what is our General Assembling spending time on? Passing a bill making it illegal to spit on people.

Now that will attract new jobs!.........telling potential employers that spitting is such a problem in Ohio, we need a law.

Attorney: Hang Up Calls Not Violent

2005-12-14T11:47:00.000-08:00

Gee, thanks.

Tookie's Chance Meeting with Richard Pryor; God Apparently Undecided about Comedic Redemption

2005-12-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger denied noted children's author (oh yeah, and convicted murderer) Stanley Tookie Williams' request for clemency this week and Tookie was put to death. Now, as Paul Harvey likes to say, the rrrrrrrrrrrrrest of the story.

Tookie was convicted of killing four people over two decades ago and now has paid 25% of his debt to society.

While the Governator plainly sees Tookie's "redemption" as a ploy to save his own life, apparently God isn't so fure.

Instead of San Quintin, Tookie now resides in Purgatory, which prompted foul-mouthed and recently deceased comedian Richard Pryor to ask Tookie when they were introduced yesterday, "What in the fu_$ are you doing over here, Ni#*er?"

To which Tookie replied, "I see God wasn't a fan of all of your movies, Richard."

And now you know, the rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrest of the story.

Inequitable Homeland Security?

2005-12-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Federal Air Marshalls shot to kill a mentally unstable man sans medicine last week in FL, but a couple of Playmates that make sexual advances to airline security are merely taken to jail for 5 hours? Yeah, JP wonders what went on during those five hours.

Life just isn't fair.

Is Cavalry Charge Dead?

2005-12-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

Did the crocodile finally eat TOD?

Small Town Ohio Traffic Cams

2005-12-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Big Brother's eye in the sky is watching you! Lots of people are getting rich over this. JP doesn't really like it.

Sandusky Co. Judge Finally Ends the Nonsense

2005-12-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

Judge Culbert finally ends this mess, which, in my opinion is even worse b/c the finality demonstrates the lack of necessity of all of it to begin with.

Hot Dog Lawyer Appears in Ohio Supreme Court

2005-12-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

What a hot dog.

Neo-Nazis coming to Glass City again, wooo hooo!

2005-12-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

Mark your calendars, December 10th.

Actually, don't waste your time going to "counter rallies" or "peace rallies," just avoid downtown on Saturdays like you normally do and go about your daily business and ignore these idiots please. The joke will be on them when downtown T-town is empty.

??????????????????

2005-12-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

NYC charitable foundation executive indicted for embezzling cash to pay Columbus, O. based dominatrix "Lady Sage" to come beat him in NY.

HT: Brutus.

OSU Band Director Stripper Daughter Murdered in NYC

2005-12-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

Somebody could make a Lifetime movie or Law & Order episode out of this one.

Breaker-Breaker 10-4

2005-12-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

Bored at work? Listen to the Cleveland Fire and Police Scanner.

Ohio U Coach Quickly Gaining Respect Among Fans in Athens

2005-11-29T08:49:00.000-08:00

Hey, if you're the #1 party school, you might as well have a coach passed out in his car in drive facing the wrong way on a one-way street!

Deadly Peanut Butter Kisses

2005-11-28T12:09:00.000-08:00

This was either a tragic accident or an enterprising young man a bit to eager to get rid of his allergic girlfriend.

Oh Holiday Tree, Oh Holiday Tree, How Beautiful is your Political Correctness!

2005-11-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

JP has no problem with "Holiday Parties" thrown by and for diverse friends or a "Happy Holiday" greeting to a stranger who might be named Epstein or Goldberg. After all, if somebody told us Happy Wica Eve or something like that, JP would be like, we're not witches, so we don't care.

However, there is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree," damn it! I was going to blog all about this after seeing "Holiday Trees for Sale" sign at the local Lowe's this weekend, but looks like it has already been done. And JP did some research and it still looks like Lowe's can't decide to go PC or not; Jerry Fallwell (the Grinch incarnate) agrees with us, but apparently the LA Times sees no controversy.

JP is just glad to be back blogging after a long hiatus and we're dreaming of a Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite...........Holiday, just like the one's we used to know!

Fieger for Michigan AG

2005-11-24T11:58:00.000-08:00

JP's favorite flamboyant litigator, Jeff Fieger, is looking to make a run for the Michigan AG's office.

Cracker Jack Juris Doctorate

2005-10-31T13:42:00.000-08:00

The Cleveland Plain Dealer squarely puts the issue before us, "Is the third year of law school really necessary?" Apparently, UD Law School doesn't really think so.

Woo Doggies!

2005-10-31T12:41:00.000-08:00

Must've been quite a bender.

Stiffing the Stripper!

2005-10-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

You just gotta' love this gem gentlemen.

So, you think you are hot stuff when you call Diamond or Kitty over to your own little pleasure corner off to the side and treat yourself and a buddy to a few lap dances over a bottle of bubbly and drop a few Benji's? Think you're impressing the chicas, tiger? Think again.

JP learned this week that, at least in NM, stiffing a stripper isn't a crime, but in NYC, you just might get sued if you don't pay your TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR TAB!

Thursday Dish

2005-10-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

Where were "technical virgins" when JP was in high school?

Probably hanging out at Tom and Katie's new Ohio house.

Sunnis Steal one from Democrat Election Playbook

2005-10-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

Apparently, they've been watching some American TV on the Sunni Sattelite Channel over in Iraq and stole out of the Kerry/Edwards playbook. Word is Don McTigue is on a jet to Fallujah right now!

Race Riots in the North in 2005

2005-10-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

While tailgating at the ND/USC game I received a disturbing call on my cellie, re: race riots were breaking out in Toledo, Ohio, my latest adopted hometown. Looking around at all the people having fun in South Bend, it was a strange feeling knowing that this was happening only two hours away in Toledo. JP is disgusted by this.

We are also disgusted by the leaders who say that nobody could have predicted this. That is crap. Everyone could feel the build up of this for 2 weeks around NW Ohio. While the gangs and the Nazis share the blame, the City of Toledo and State of Ohio should have taken much more preventive measures such as going in the neighborhoods and explaining that while the Nazis are hateful, the police must protect them. This should have been done b/c the police protection was construed as Nazi support. City leaders and Gov. Taft were simply hoping for the best or lacked imagination. Imagine that.

Ohio Justice Bombshell

2005-10-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

etter from OSBA President E. Jane Taylor: Association supports appointive-elective system

To the Editor:

A recent column in The Columbus Dispatch by Supreme Court of Ohio Chief Justice Thomas J. Moyer called for a constitutional amendment to create an appointive-elective system for selecting the Supreme Court of Ohio justices. We agree with the Chief Justice that it is time to institute such a system.
Since the late 1930s, the Ohio State Bar Association has supported an appointive-elective system of selecting the Supreme Court of Ohio justices. Chief Justice Moyer said: “Campaign contributions to judges are bad, not because they influence our decisions but because they lead people to believe that they do.” The Ohio State Bar Association agrees. We believe that removing the need to solicit campaign contributions from the judicial selection process would eliminate further erosion of and restore the public’s trust and confidence in the system.
In the appointive-elective system proposed by Chief Justice Moyer, justices would be appointed by the Governor, who would choose from among three candidates proposed by a diverse, independent, nonpartisan selection panel, a majority of whom would be non-lawyers. The justices then would stand for re-election after serving one or two years and, if retained, would complete the balance of a fixed term of 10 or 12 years. In the proposed system, voters—yes, voters—would ultimately determine if a person appointed to the Court will remain.
Ohio is not alone in examining an appointive-elective system. A number of states are considering such proposals in light of the staggering amount of money spent on judicial campaigns—all leading to the public’s erroneous perception that campaign contributions buy judicial influence. It is time to end that perception, and the proposed appointive-elective system for selecting justices for the Supreme Court of Ohio is a proper way to address the matter.
The Ohio State Bar Association stands ready to work with Chief Justice Moyer, Ohio’s elected officials and the citizens of this great state to implement an appointive-elective system for the Supreme Court of Ohio. It is time to end the perception that money talks in judicial elections.
Sincerely,
E. Jane Taylor, PresidentOhio State Bar Association

Bloggin' About Cleveland's Bonus Baby Barbara Byrd-Bennett

2005-10-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

The turn around queen, eh? Making good bank sucking at the public tit is her game, apparently botching numbers is her game.

The Cleveland City Schools reported 620 abscences to the state last year, earning the district a gold star in that category, only one of two of over twenty effectiveness categories it met. Turns out, the district was off about three ZEROES.

Yes, the public screwels, we should all just give them more and more of our tax dollars!

Or not.

Yes, the turn around queen, indeed. Turn around and go back to NYC BBB!

Recall of Judges Legislation in Ohio

2005-10-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

If our local rep gets his way. Even the Chief Justice is weighing in!

Fighting Irish vs. Trojans (with a Cougar to boot)!

2005-10-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Don't buy your tix for this hot game from the steep priced brokers, go with this urban cougar.

And JP just loves Kelsey & Courtney's Q & A session on e-bay.

Here is the part of the product description that the Tribune conveniently left out:

No Sickos need to purchase these tickets Warning: No sexual favors will be exchanged for the purchase of this one ticket!

Supreme Court of Ohio Gives Grandparents a Hug

2005-10-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

In a closely and nationally watched family law case, the Ohio Supremes ruled yesterday that trial courts can take the wishes of grandparents into account when determining visitation rights of non-parents, even over a natural and custodial parent's objection. JP is split on this ruling. On the one hand, we shouldn't have the courts substituting their judgment for a parent, but on the other hand, if a parent is being bull-headed about his/her in-laws, maybe grannie and gramps should have a little love. But to say the grandparent visitation is in the best interests of the child, is it really in the best interests of the child to be under the custody and control of a parent who objected to that visitation all the way up to the highest court in the State? Quite a balancing act test, which JP generally doesn't like. In the final analysis though, it seems that this problem is probably pretty rare and won't come up much.

Akron Cops Treat Diabetic Coma with Pepper Spray; Outside Interests in Ohio Politics....Good or Bad?

2005-10-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

You're a cop. You find a man in a diabetic coma slumped in his car after a minor accident. What do you do? Pepper spray him of course, then call him irresponsible and convict him of failure to control to boot.

IN OTHER NEWS.......................

Ohio donkeys and elephants differ on help from the outside. Ohio Dems must rely on outside groups to win elections, while the GOP relies on local organizations, not national interest groups and politicians. Well, not really.

Two-a-Days

2005-10-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

Being a KT participant was nuts, but what if you actually played in both games?

Cleveland's First Womyn Mayor in Deep Sh#T!

2005-10-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

In a non-partisan primary with only an 18% turnout, Cleveland City Council President Frank Jackson thrashed Mayor Jane Campbell Tuesday, making Campbell the first mayor to lose in the mayoral primary since Dennis Kucinich fell to George Voinovich in 1979.

Jackson for Senator in 2025?

Buckeyes, Rise Up!

2005-10-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ohioans, PROTECT YOUR VOTE! and keep politicians accountable.

1997 Chevy Camaro Seized in Drug used in Parade? C'mon Clark.

2005-10-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

(G)abe once told me that in MT, his hillbilly friends called Camaros, "settlement cars," b/c that is what every hillbilly bought with a personal injury settlement check.

LJPR "jes"'s feelings about the topic notwithstanding, apparently in Ohio a Camaro is a badge of honor.

(And who sells drugs out of a Camaro?)

What are the Qualifications to sit on the SCOTUS?

2005-10-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

We've already heard plenty about cronyism re: Bush's nomination of Harriet the mascara queen. Not knowing much about her, I tend to fall in line with those suspicions, but will keep an open-mind.

I ask for feedback from you. What are the qualifications for a SCOTUS Justice?

Here is what I think I think:

1. Graduate from law school, preferrably somewhere near top of class and preferrably from a "prestige" school, but that is not completely necessary.
2. Licensed attorney for at least 20 years.
3. At least 10 years of litigation practice (good mix of trial and appellate preferrable) before becoming a judge at any level.
4. I think should have at least approximately 5 years judicial experience on an appellate court. (Which I don't think either Bush nominee has.) The more experience the better.
5. At least 30 appellate arguments/cases under belt.
6. Some government service as a lawyer would be nice.
7. Strong evidence that nominee recognizes limited role of fed. judiciary.
8. Strong evidence that not too willing to overrule deeply rooted precedent.
9. Strong evidence that nominee will be fair and impartial.
10. Someone that is willing to provide clear and (when necessary) lengthy rationale for rulings in their opinions.
11. Someone without much political ambition outside of being a good Justice.
12. Strong committment to independent judiciary and legal ethics.
13. Past pro bono work is a plus.
14. Someone with paper trail is good.
15. Even-keel judicial temperment.
16. Someone perceived as fair by practicing bar.
17. Someone who has not been overly political in the past.
18. Preferrably someone that has never held either an elected legislative or executive office, or if they have, have been away from that job for at least 12 years.
19. Ideal candidate would be around to serve at least 15 years, but probably no more than 30.
20. Someone who is a textualist, originalist or strict constructionist.
21. Someone who does NOT view the Constitution as a living or breathing document.
22. Someone recognized as brilliant.
23. Someone who is not too much of a partisan. (JP recognizes that everyone has a tint of partisanship in their makeup, and the latest nominee has lots of makeup.)
24. Someone who doesn't "owe" anyone anything.
25. Judicial clerkship experience is a plus, but is not necessary especially if nominee has an otherwise stellar career.
26. Someone who has broad knowledge of criminal, civil and regulatory law.
27. Someone who is NOT a specialist.
28. Someone that can narrow issues quickly.
29. If candidate is a "diversity nominee," that is okay, but that should not come at the expense of merit.
30. Someone who is not afraid to dissent and who doesn't want to just "get along."
31. Someone whose votes cannot be predicted down a party line.
32. Someone that likes to ask questions at oral argument.
33. Somebody who is not a political insider would be good, but not necessary.
34. Somebody with broad knowledge of both state and federal law and how they interact would be good.
35. Somebody not interested in "political" or "policy" questions.
36. Somebody that will pay attention to the factual record and procedural posture of a case rather than race straight to the legal issues.
37. Somebody that is willing to place a TV camera in the court.

"Where are the Republican lawyers in town?"

2005-10-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

After excoriating them last fall for their hand in the presidential (s)election here in the Buckeye State, the Toledo Blade finally asks, "Where are the Republican lawyers in town?" when the candidate they are afraid of most is about to take over city council.

Forget Katrina & Rita

2005-10-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

The Chinese are soooo much better at naming their cataclysmic storms!

No word yet if Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) approves of this name or not, but Justice Clarence Thomas voiced his approval.

HT: LJPR zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzonka.

FEMA - - Too Proud 2 Beg; Too Dumb to Accept

2005-09-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you to our Greek friends for offering two cruise ships to house homeless people in the wake of Katrina.

No thank you to FEMA for not accepting the offer and instead giving a no-bid contract to Carnival Cruise Lines for three 1/2 empty ships at a rate double than a week long cruise.

Worse yet, sources tell me that "Brownie" simply booked the ships online!

No Such thing as a Free Lunch (Or Public Defender) in Ohio; Should we Recall Judge Culbert?; Is Bennett a Racist?

2005-09-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

All apologies for the lack of posts recently, but we've been rather busy.

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SANDSUKY COUNTY, O. JUDGE PROMPTS LEGISLATION FOR RECALLING JUDGES

Local Rep. Jeff Wagner has wrote Ohio Chief Justice Moyer asking him to take a look at the budget fiasco created in Sandusky County b/c of the actions of Probate/Juvenile judge Brad Culbert. Should Culbert be recalled? Wagner thinks so.*

* Word is that Culbert blasted Wagner in the media and that story will be in print today, check for updates.

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INDIGENT DEFENDANT'S MUST PAY FOR APPLICATION FOR FREE LAWYER IN OHIO

Huh? Won't the administrative costs of this program exceed the revunues generated? And most judges will waive the fee anyway. Just watch.

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RACISM? WE REPORT, YOU DECIDE.

Is former education secretary Bill Bennett a racist when he stated "you could abort every black baby in this country, and the crime rate would go down"? Or was we just making a point in context? You decide.

What really hacks JP off is the so-called "Civil Rights" leaders that are trying to censor Bennett. What happened to all the moooshy talk about the First Amendment protects unpopular ideas and if you really believe in free speech, you should fight for speech that you detest? What short memories are Leftist friends have.

JP wonders what this guy would think about Bennett. He even has a Web journal, or blog.

DeLay Indicted; Steps down.

2005-09-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

Uh-0h!

HT: My moms

SCOTUS to review Toledo, O. Jeep Tax Credit Case With Sweeping National Implications

2005-09-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will decide how states may use tax incentives to lure companies to build car plants and other projects, a major test of job-creation strategies nationwide.

Justices will review an Ohio tax program which had been used thousands of times over the last decade until an appeals court ruled last year that it was unconstitutional.

The law was challenged by taxpayers who contend that state bidding wars over car plants and other development have gotten out of hand and are discriminatory, with taxpayers footing the bill. They sued over an investment tax credit that Ohio gave DaimlerChrysler AG to build a Jeep assembly plant that opened in Toledo in 2001.

JP's predicts much of the court's analysis will focus on whether the tax incentives are really "incentives" to companies that come to Ohio or "punishments" to those that don't. The SCOTUS will probably find the latter and eliminate this tactic nationwide, hurting Northern and Midwestern states the most. Thanks you to the fools that brought this case. Nothing like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Great ND Football Blog

2005-09-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

Can't wait to see what they write after we whip Ty's ass this weekend!

Go Irish! Beat Huskies!

RAM

HT: LJPR Billy-HO!

Dems Heart Roberts

2005-09-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

Bush SCOTUS nominee Judge John Roberts having run intellectual circles around Senate Judiciary Democrats for days, Senators Di-Fi and Dick Turbin changed tactics and quizzed Judge Roberts' about his heart.

A judge wears a black robe because the judicial is not personal Roberts argued when refusing to answer the bizarre questions about where his heart is at from his far less accomplished interrogators. The Dems annoyingly and self-righteously persisted and argued that the judicial is just as much about the heart as it is the mind. Judge Roberts rightly refused this take on a federal judge's role, but the view is starting to get some national attention.

All this has me thinking though, where were these Democrat Senators when Bubba Clinton was being impeached?

........Oh, that's right........they were arguing that while Bubba's promiscuity was immoral and heartless to Chelsea and Billary (and even to Monica possibly), his actions did not amount to impeachment under the law.

Ahhhh, the unprincipled modern Democrat judicial philosophy, it is, well, unprincipled!

Well, at least I'm glad that being a heartless accomplished Harvard educated Judge is not an "extraordinary circumstance." Seriously, from the far Left's current prospective and their self-monopoly on "feelings," it would be an extraordinary circumstance if a Bush nominee had a heart, I guess.

At least the Dems will have this heartless heart surgeon to kick around until '08.

Signed,
The Little Guy

Cleveland Clinic Gets Gift from the Heart for the Heart

2005-09-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

To the tune of millions. I never knew you could get that rich selling hair products!

Fool me once, shame on you…………….fool me, can’t get fooled again.

2005-09-22T13:35:00.000-07:00

Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechalist, breaks down George W’s finest oratory addresses in a JP exclusive.

JP did vote for W twice but freely admits that but for legacies, he probably wouldn't hold his Ivy League degrees from Yale and Harvard, but he’d probably have gone to Crawford Community College. Uh, er, wait a minute, JP better watch our community college jokes!

Now, I better get back to putting food on my family!

HT: LJPR JODKA

Ohio AG has to release Noe Coin Fund Records

2005-09-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Petro has to release records he said were protected.

"Bill Clinton doesn't care about black people." -- Chicago Rapper Thing-a-ma-jig

2005-09-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

Taking a page from (G)abe, and subtly turning Katrina into a racial issue, Bill Clinton this weekend intimated that he and James Lee Whitt could have better handled Katrina b/c "both of (them) came out of environments with a disproportionate number of poor people.”

Then I got thinking.

Billary is from Chicago even though she now carpet bags in NY. Where was FEMA and the Slickster back in 1995 and 1999 when thousands died in heat waves?

Where were the so-called "black leaders" then? This was in Jesse "Shakedown" Jackson's backyard for the love-of-Pete. The Slick One was given a pass by the Leftist media, but Bush has been crucified daily.

I had many points to score, but during my research, I found that fellow Domer Thomas Galvin already had already cogently made each of them. So, I'll let Tom carry the water (something Bill Clinton wouldn't even do for the heat wave victims).

====================================================================
In other fellow Domer blogs, this one has been getting plenty of national attention from outfits such as the NYTimes and MSNBC and ND's very own "The Observer."

'Day Be Taking All My Welfare Money Yo!

2005-09-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

Houston residents are beginning to mistreat Hurricane Katrina evacuees. Why?

Becasue the evacuees are getting the welfare benefits and "guvment assisticance" that the Houston residents "have been waiting their whole lives for."

Oh yes, Republicans are racist, I know, I know, but these Democrat welfare programs really are helping these poor people prosper. Aren't they?

I bet some of you fools think this post is racist too. If you do, you just don't get it.

Underneath Their Robes

2005-09-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Good federal judiciary blog (including juicy gossip and tidbits) from attorney and former clerk "Article Three Groupie."

Silly Stuff

2005-09-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

T.V.s for your grave.

==============================================================

Ohio Auditor Betty Montgomery ordering Sandusky County to pay the Sandusky County Library Association money the Library says it doesn't want/need. Would've been nice if she was on the whole Noe guy earlier instead of this lunacy.

Samali-Columbus Terrorist's Confessions Ruled Admissible

2005-09-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

The government can use at trial statements made by a Somali man accused of plotting to bomb a shopping mall, a judge ruled.

Nuradin Abdi's attorneys had sought to bar statements he made to authorities in which he admitted to falsifying immigration documents and planning to blow up an undetermined Columbus-area mall.

Abdi's attorney, Mahir T. Sherif, says the value of the information "is outweighed by the danger of unfair prejudice," against his client, whose trial is scheduled for Sept. 26.

ReeeeeeeeHa-Ha-eeeeeeeeeeeeeally?

Jihad Watch

2005-09-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

First we have a 9-11 memorial in the shape of the Islamic crescent, now Muslims are telling Tony Blair he needs to eliminate Holocaust Rememberance day b/c it is "offensive."

Liberal Media Now Biased in its Photo Selections

2005-09-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

If you don't believe us, just click here.

"Would you think that Roe might be a super-duper precedent?"

2005-09-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

God bless our eloquent political leaders.

My response would be, "No, Senator, it is not a super-duper precedent" as I held up a picture of this in front of Hillary Clinton's face.

KATRINA + LOUISIANNA DEMOCRAT CHAIRMAN = BIG BUCKS

2005-09-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. The Louisianna Democratic Party Chairman is CA$HIN in BIG TIME in the clean up efforts, but you won't hear much about that anywhere but here.

LIBERAL MEDIA CALCULUS:

Haliburton = Bad.
Democrat Billionaires = Very Good.

eSORN: Ohio Sex Offender Search

2005-09-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

Provides HOURS o' fun! Apologies for the pic, I couldn't resist!*

*Picture removed by unpopular demand.

Ohio's Worst Weatherman

2005-09-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

So, we thought Blizzard Bill Spener in Toledo was bad.

And Cleveland has Dick Goddard. We all know about his troubles. And we know how the NE Ohio Blue Hairs just HEART that Brad Sussman.

Forget these guys, JP has truly found the Buckeye State's WORST WEATHERMAN. This guy is so dumb? How dumb is he.........? He couldn't even have predicted the levees breaking after a Level 4 Hurricane. Oh wait, did I just say that?

3 MORE DAYS!!!!

2005-09-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

RAM's predictions:

Notre Dame Fighting Irish: 30
Michigan Wolverines: 25

Texas Longhorns: 23
Ohio State Buckeyes: 13

Bush Did It

2005-09-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break, [X2]When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay. Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan, [X2]

Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home, Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well. Don't it make you feel bad When you're tryin' to find your way home, You don't know which way to go?

If you're goin' down South They go no work to do, If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned, [X2]Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home. Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you... Going down... going down now... going down....

Those are the lyrics of When the Levee Breaks by Led Zepplin. Kind of eerie.

Anyway, what is predictably funny is the post-Katrina outrage from the loony/fringe/kook Left that is starting to rear its ugly head. Oh yeah, the decision to build the levees to only withstand a Level 3 hurricane was made decades ago, back when "W" was young and irresponsible mind you.

Okay, let's do a run down of the kooks of the week.

4. Old Flint, MI himself, DNC luxury box sharer with Jimmy Carter himself, Michael Moore has written one of his stupid "open letters" to president Bush in an effort to capitalize on the pain and suffering of hundreds of thousands.

3. Sean Penn went down with a TV crew to film his "altruistic" attempt to save lives in N.O. However, things turned south in the South when Skipper Penn couldn't plug a leak in the S.S. Moron. However, he does get kudos trying to help. But please Sean, we need your millions, not your navigation skills.

2. Celine Dion's disturbingly emotional diatribe captured on Larry King is a good 6 minutes of laughs, especially when she justifies looitng 20 pairs of jeans and TV's! Hey Celine, I want to come to Vegas and steal your shit and then shoot up your annoying husband and shit head kid. Would you like that? My guess, "Hell to the no!"

1. That rapper that gets all the acclaim, but I've never heard a word he said, Kanye West, who stated on live T.V.:

I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, "They're looting." You see a white family, it says, "They're looking for food." And, you know, it's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help -- with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us.

Then again, KW may have a point.

Special Mentions:

1. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin for his stunning lack of leadership. Why isn't anyone asking for his resignation like they are Chertoff? Why isn't anyone calling him a racist in this terrible time? Oops, b/c he's black perhaps? Like Michael Moore would say, race has NOTHING to do with it!?!? I'm sure.

2. W himself for wanting to, well, hang on his friends' porch I guess. Liberal Logic exposed: People who shoot and loot, good! People who want to be with friends once this done.....bad!

Former Boy Band Member Running for Cincy Mayor

2005-09-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

98% of respondents think that this former 98 Degrees member sucked at performing, therefore, he is embarking on a career in politics. Hey, don't laugh, Jerry Springer started out as mayor of the Queen City and now he is the Ohio Dem of the year.

I know this is old news, but JP only learned of it this week. Our SW Ohio bureau kind of blows.

As for my take on the passing of Rhenquist and Hurricane Katrina, the news is already saturated, but I will say there is nothing like having to hear about Camp Casey and Natalie Holloway anymore!

LJPR DONKA HAS SPACE ALIEN BABY!

2005-09-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

JP is very thrilled to announce the birth of BENJAMIN RONALD in the wee morning hours of 8/31/05 in Findlay, O. Baby and BM (baby's momma') are doing just fine. Baby Ben has nice black hair and beautiful blue eyes. (And antenna coming out of the back of his head.) HT: The Stork

Cleveland's Craig List

2005-09-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

Wanted: Ugly Womyn to Marry Ugly Hungarian Beast of a Man.

HT: LJPR JODKA

HURRICANE

2005-09-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

Sad. Very sad.

Law Library Violations To Cost Sandusky County

2005-08-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

Too bad we just didn't have a few rare coins.

Finally, JP Has Found Worse Public Schools Than America's Screwels

2005-08-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

Our friends across the pond have officially lost their shit.

Those goddam' Brits.

What a bunch of jackasses.

Do they really think this fucking idea will work?

All they are doing is making the parents bitch.

Well, that's my limit of five (5) swear words for the day.

If you think America is loco en la cabeza for seriously looking at Ebonics as a legitimate language, just look at what is going on at Weavers School in Wellingborough, Northamptonshire. A secondary school is to allow pupils to swear at teachers - as long as they don't do so more than five times in a lesson. A running tally of how many times the f-word has been used will be kept on the board. If a class goes over the limit, they will be 'spoken' to at the end of the lesson.

Assistant headmaster Richard White said the policy was aimed at 15 and 16-year-olds in two classes which are considered troublesome.

Upon reading of such misbehaviour, JP put itself in the shoes of someone in a teachers union and wanted to find "the societal causes" of this problem and attempted to "explore" where these youths are "coming from" in an effort to develop a "deeper knowledge and understanding."

Well, it didn't take us long.

They learned these words in school 4 years ago from their teachers.

No shit.

Fuck, I'm going to be "spoken to" at the end of this blog.

Al Sharpton's Criminal Crawford Chase; Sandusky County, Ohio Fair Directors Calls Motor City Mad Man a "Bastard" After Fair; Golf Cart Death

2005-08-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

1. Criminal Chase in Crawford after Al went to Camp Casey.

2. Upset he didn't get to meet Ted Nugent at the Sandusky County, Ohio "meet and greet" at the fair, the director calls the Motor City Mad Man a "bastard" in the local daily rag.

3. Prankster charged with murder in CA after he mistakenly ran over his friend on a cart during a stolen round of midnight golf. Talk about a bad round.

Also, the other day, somebody asked me if I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? I told them that it would definitely be someone who is living.

Cooo Cooo Ca Chooo: Where Have You Gone Justice Hercules?

2005-08-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Is the Rhenquist court ignoring precedent? Some think so.

Real Ultimate Army Men Back from the Dead

2005-08-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

I saw all the talking heads on the Sunday air bag shows talking about troop levels ad nauseum. Effe that, let's just send in these guys.

Clarrett Canned

2005-08-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

Former Ohio State whiner/tailback Maurice Clarrett has been cut by the Broncos. I find this hillarious and I'm a Denver fan!

The best part is, the Broncos duped him into signing a contract without a signing bonus. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now, he can go back to his bogus summer jobs cutting lawn for rich Upper Arlington and Bexley people.

Can Jurors Pray Before Death Verdict?

2005-08-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

At least one Ohio convict doesn't think so.

Toledo Mayor Blames Bush For the Bad, Then Takes Credit for the Good (in less than a year's time); Akron Postal Worker PISSED OFF!

2005-08-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

Toledo Mayor Jack Ford (a/k/a J-Fo) has told some tall tales, but how can he speak at the DNC last year and blame W for losing 16,000 jobs in Toledo, then a year later at a Toledo mayoral debate recently claim that city has gained jobs under the Ford administration? Easy, The Toledo Blade is too busy gleefully going after Taft and Coingate than covering its own city.

Well, at least one Toledo City Councilman thinks Ford creates good jobs.

Forget these political hacks, our vote goes to Opal Covey!
=====================================================================
A couple of genius public servants in Akron are pissed off at each other.
====================================================================
New blog of the week, Frantz Rantz.

Indians Invade Put-'n-Bay

2005-08-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

And Ohio Attorney General Jim Petro wants them out. Man, those Indians were gullible. They signed a treaty to have the exclusive right to fish and hunt the great outdoors of Akron? Well, I guess they did sell Manhattan for some feathers and beeds.

george stephanopoulos & pat roberts agree on foreing assinations; judicial show boating in oHIo

2005-08-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

I've already posted a comment over at 2GL that Pat Robertson jumped the shark as a religious leader when he awkwardly called for the assasination of a foreign leader out of the blue the other night. The Left is painting to be an insane right-wing loon.

However, where were these people when George Stephanopoulos was saying the same things about a certain other foreign leader?

====================================================================
In other news, TOD points out that the Muni Judge that sentenced Goober Taft can't resist the temptation to discuss the woodie he had under his black robe during the sentencing. TOD rightfully calls this judicial show boating.

Well, boys and girls, that's all for today, So, as TOD would say, "See you later Shipwreck. Love, Dreamboat."

Ohio U, Party Scoo

2005-08-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you all probably read a blurb in the paper or heard on the dial that the Princeton Review released its annual "Best Colleges" survey today and ranked Pepperdine in Malibu as having best campus, BYU as the stone cold soberest for the 8th straight year and Wisconsin in Madison as the best party school.

Now, the rrrrrrrrrrrest of the story.

Always, the bridesmaid, local favourite, and LJPR Donka Donka's alma mater, Ohio University, was named runner-up in the latter category! Congrads, O.U., and I have many fond memories of you!!

So what if they involve a certain someone walking across campus in only a leather jacket after forgetting his one night stand's room number after scowering the entire dorm for a condom? And no, that someone isn't Donka either.

HT: Donka (soon to be) Dadda'

Gay Rights in CA, For Better or For Worse & Mum v. Daughter Britain Style

2005-08-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

California Common Law

The California Supreme Court rules that if gays raise kids together, they are at peril of paying child support when they have a tiff and break up.

Talk About Your Friend's Mom! Wowwwwww Weeeeeeeeee!

This mum and daughter team are Groooovy Baby!

Ohio's First Lady Hope Taft Wins "Jello Shot" Case

2005-08-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

While one Toledo area coin dealer has her hubbie in hot water, Hope Taft won her civil case with a Toledo area "Jello shot" manufacturer which accused her of wielding her influence to harm the fledgling business.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EXCLUSIVE SHOCKER: BILL CLINTON SEXUALLY HARRASSED JANET RENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-19T15:58:00.000-07:00

In the seemingly impossible, Janet Reno has been sexually harrassed!

Well, almost, she would've been if the White House was in CAHL-EEEE-FORN-YAH.

Judge Roberts is Funny, errrr, Sexist; Happy B-day Bill!

2005-08-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

Opponents of W's SCOTUS nominee oughta' get a sense of humor.

The humorless left are too blinded by hate to realize that in a memo Judge Roberts authored, he was making a lawyer joke, not commenting about womyn's rights.

Jokes on the feminazis this time.

===========================================================
59 candles go out to our 42nd president, Slick Willy. I bet Hillary never even baked him a cake.

Long Live the Other J.P.

2005-08-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

A big HT to that talk radio pioneer in the sky, Joseph Priestley McCarthy, who suddenly died 10 years ago this week.

I have many fond memories of hearing J.P.'s voice on Detroit's, AM 760 WJR, "The Great Voice of the Great Lakes." Most of them include my dad blaring it in the bathroom as I get ready for school as the distinctive smells of cooking eggs and freshly applied Old Spice permeates our house on many a cool, crisp mornings.

I also remember seeing J.P.'s yacht, "Station Break" at the Catawba Island Club once, which prompted a call the next Monday from my dad to tell J.P. that his boat was called, "Miss Demeanor."

J.P. liked that.

And so did I.

Judicial Watch, Inc. v. United States Senate, et al.

2005-08-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

Fascinating brief filed in the above-captioned litigation.

Cincy Mom Teaches Child Wrong Lesson, Wins Litigation Lottery

2005-08-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Your child is a menace on the school bus? He doesn't listen to his elders? The cops are called and they handcuff your son, what do you do? Sue and win $20,000.00, of course.

T.O. Makes Case For Fan Union

2005-08-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

With the NFL and its thuggery getting into full swing this preseason, JP is again calling for a fan union, F.U. for short, and T.O. is going to be our poster boy.

He is trying to restructure is already negotiated and agreed-to contract b/c, in his own words, feed his family. He made 7.5 million USD last year, he must have some fat kids.

How is TO doing situps in his driveway when he had to sit out for a groin injury just day earlier? doctors say if his injury was for real there is no way he was doing situps on cement in his driveway.

HT: LJPR DONKA

Liberal Media

2005-08-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard, Slick Willy is releasing a CD of his favorite tunes. If I were making a CD on Napster (like I often do) and had Slick Willy as my inspiration, I'd definitely include the following ditties and would like to hear what you'd include:

It wasn’t Me. (Shaggy)
O.P.P. (Naughty by Nature)
Don’t Let the Intern Go Down on Me (Elton John Remix)
I want Your Sex (George Michael)
Liar (Henry Rollins)
Love Shack! (B-52s)
Baby Got Back! (Sir Mix-A-Lot)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
NARAL ADD ABORTED
In other media news, NARAL's media director has resigned.

Cleveland Councilman Admits to Being Crook, Pleads Guilty to Felony in Connection to Nate Gray Municipal Fraud Federal Case

2005-08-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Guilty.

Detroit Most Liberal U.S. City

2005-08-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

According to a recent study of voting patterns, Motown is America's most liberal city. Detroit has had racial and economic problems forever, although it has been lead by liberal politicians and union execs for years. How can this be? Easily, reliance on government handouts and overly dependent work environment does not help, but stagnates.

Detroit, you could be a great city what with major sports teams, world class restaurants, the Big 3, the Great Lakes and the Detroit River have you poised to revitalize yourself Now, just start voting like they do in Provo and you'll be fine! Just fine!

Tokyo Alien

2005-08-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

An alien was recently spotted in a Tokyo corner store.

Ohio Heisman. May La Force be With You!

2005-08-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

JP loves BGSU Junior QB Omar Jacobs' chances to be a Heisman Dark Horse this year. Watch him make national waves when his Falcons knock off Wisconsin in early September.

==============================
But we at JP know you'd rather see picks of Ohio native and recently crowned Miss Teen USA Allie LaForce, so may the Force be with you.

Mission to Niger; Cuddle after $EX? Um, Give me ESPN Bitch!

2005-08-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

Now that Robert Novak has officially lost his temper, JP actually went back an read his original article that set off the Plame Game firestorm in The Beltway. Always good to go back and read the original source, so do it here.

IN THE SPORTS WORLD

A Florida man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer.